Is interracial marriage the same type of issue as gay marriage?

This seems to be the big new argument out there now. Advocates of same-sex marriage are claiming that forbidding homosexual couples is just like the discriminatory laws that didn’t allow interracial marriages.

I can see where this argument is coming from, at least. I still don’t think it’s the same thing, however, and here’s why.

People of different races are all the same on the inside. Genetically, there is no difference between a black man and a white woman. They are the same. Our discrimination laws originated to prevent us from discriminating against someone on the basis of their outward appearance: gender, age, race. Proscribing interracial marriage was based on the outward appearance, but there was no reason to forbid those people to marry.

Same-sex couples, however, are a different matter. There is an obvious genetic difference between gay couples and heterosexual couples – two women or two men are not the same as one woman and one man. We’ll also have to get back into why people are gay, here: is it choice, or is it a genetic abnormality?

If it is choice, then these couples are choosing an alternative lifestyle. They are choosing to deviate from what society considers normal. People are free to choose to live alternative lifestyles, but they do have to live with the consequences. Americans don’t seem to like the fact that their actions have consequences, especially when those consequences are negative. That’s why we’re in this economic crisis. It is not any one individual’s fault; Americans chose to overspend, banks overextended themselves, and no one was prepared for the consequences.

So when a gay couple has a relationship, what are some of the consequences? Well, they can’t procreate, for starters. Gay couples have higher rates of STDs, including AIDS. Gay couples tend to be less stable. And, up until recently, they were not allowed to marry. When they made the choice to live that lifestyle, they were aware of that consequence. Is it good for society as a whole to let gay couples get married, to teach our children that homosexuality is equal to hetersexuality, to perpetuate a condition that is, at heart, an aberration from the norm? Assuming that it is a chosen behavior, the more we teach our small children about how great and wonderful homosexuality is, the more people will choose it. Eventually, society dies out when its population growth declines too far.

What if we argue instead that people are not gay by choice, but that it is a genetic tendency and we shouldn’t “punish” them for being made that way by forbidding them to marry? This goes back to the interracial marriage argument – if these couples are genetically different, genetically “flawed” according to mainstream society because of their homosexual tendencies, then they are not genetically equal to a heterosexual couple. They are not the same, and do not merit the same privileges. Marriage isn’t just about a couple who love each other; it is a societal contract. Marriages are about more than declaring one’s love for one’s spouse to the world; it is a bond that declares you are responsible for one another, you are responsible for your children, and you acknowledge your children as your own. Marriages were created to organize families, not to validate lovers’ feelings.

If we allow same-sex marriage on the grounds that it is discriminatory to prevent any two people who love each other from getting married, then it is only one more step to incest. It is only one more step to legalizing marrying children who are too young to be married. Beyond that, it is only one step further to legalizing polygamy. After all, these people all just love each other, right? What’s wrong with that?

What’s wrong with that, is that gay marriage, incest, child marriages, and polygamy, are not good for society. They are bad for society because of their effects on the gene pool, and they are bad for society because of their social effects. When we tear down the traditional family, we tear down the last place our children are safe from the world. By making marriage all about the couple and forgetting about the children, as society has been doing for the last several decades, we wound our children terribly. Look at divorce rates; look at fatherless children; look at gang violence; look at teenage promiscuity and teenage pregnancy rates. All these things are on the rise, because we’ve become selfish as a society. We are all about Me, My, Mine. Marriage ought to be about creating a home for our families, not about personal gratification. Perhaps there would be less adultery if we stopped to remember that – it’s not just about meeting an individual’s sexual needs (or, more often, wants). It’s about providing security for each other, providing emotional support, providing a refuge, a safe haven. It’s about responsibility. It’s about providing a safe place for children to grow up, taking care of their needs, until they are ready to go out into the world. And as much as they may want to, two moms or two dads will never be equal to a mom and a dad in their abilities to raise a child.

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What is tolerance

My husband read this great article by Orson Scott Card the other day, and I have to share it with you all. Go read it at http://mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/orson_scott_card/?id=4740.

Card writes about how we should be able to disagree respectfully, and why the LDS Church opposes legalizing gay marriage. His point that really caught my eye, though, was this:

“I speak from experience: My family and I have close friends who are gay, some of whom have entered into lawful marriages. They know we don’t agree that their relationship is the same thing or should have the same legal status as our marriage, but we all accept that strong and clear difference of opinion and move on, continuing to respect and love each other for the values we share.

Only when a gay friend demanded that I agree with his or her point of view or cease to be friends has the friendship ended. What is odd is that in every case they called me intolerant. They misunderstood the meaning of “tolerance.”

Tolerance implies disagreement — it means that even though we don’t agree with or approve of each others beliefs or actions, we can still live together amicably. When we agree, we aren’t being tolerant, we’re being uniform.

It’s uniformity or submission these former friends wanted, not tolerance at all.”

You might object and say that this refers only to Orson Scott Card’s understanding of the word tolerance. But you’d be wrong. Here’s what the dictionary has to say under the entry “tolerance”:

1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry.
2. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one’s own.

Tolerance, therefore, can only exist when we agree to disagree. Some gays are opposing Proposition 8 under the guise of desiring tolerance from heterosexuals. However, the ones doing the name-calling and vandalizing signs are more often opponents of Prop 8 than not. Legalizing gay marriage; requiring that we treat it the same as heterosexual marriage; teaching it as the same in school; suing photographers, doctors, newspapers, adoption agencies, and newspapers for expressing a different opinion and standing by their religions; threatening to even remove the people’s right to vote on the issue in San Diego… None of these things sound like tolerance to me. This is not peaceful co-existence. This is not agreeing, politely, to disagree. This is attempting to force the opinion and habits and standards of a vocal minority on the majority of the population under the guise of “rights” – even though the right to marry is not protected, and establishing gay marriage directly contradicts existing federal law, the Defense of Marriage Act, which states: DOMA defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman for purposes of all federal laws.

How can forcing the 96% of the population that isn’t gay to endorse homosexuality truly be considered tolerance? Gay activists aren’t fighting for tolerance of their behavior. Their rights are already protected as domestic partners under the California family code. They gain nothing by marriage, except the validation of the rest of the community, and the ability to force others to support their beliefs. Legalizing gay marriage does not gain them more rights; all it does is undermine our society and confuse gender issues until we are all one homogenized, featureless lump. They are fighting to PROMOTE A GAY LIFESTYLE. Not for tolerance. If they were so big on tolerance, perhaps they’d be a little more TOLERANT of their opposition. You know, those of us who are out there fighting for our children, our educational system, our right to parent our children and teach them our own morals, our religious freedom, our freedom of speech, and the rights of future generations of children to be born into a home with a mother and a father who love them and are socially responsible to them.

Please support real tolerance, and vote in favor of Proposition 8. Otherwise, dissent becomes illegal.

Letters to the CTA

These are actual letters that have been sent to David Sanchez, the president of the CTA. It always heartens me to know that I’m not alone in this fight. There are letters from parents and teachers expressing their displeasure at the CTA’s $1 million donation to the No on 8 campaign. I think the second one down is my favorite so far. If you readers have any letters to add, go ahead and add them in as comments – Please remove last names as I have done here, to protect individuals’ privacy.

Mr. Sanchez,

 

I have been a teacher for 30 years here in California . The position the CTA has taken on Prop 8 is a joke. Why is it so difficult for you to show real leadership and stand up AGAINST political pressure? I realize the union is filled with liberal democrats like your self and the people who work for you.

Your union that you are in charge of does not represent my views and what I believe in. I will no longer maintain my membership in ANYTHING associated with the CTA. If the union has a political stance on an issue, I will find out what it is and vote the opposite. Your views on Prop 8 are morally and ethically wrong. The million dollars spent could have been given to kids that need it instead of supporting a position such as gay and lesbian rights. Are you kidding me? You hide behind the cover of equal rights because you do not have the guts to call it what it is. It is morally reprehensible. The people of the state of California will agree with me, watch what happens on November 4th.

You are a disgrace to the profession of teaching, to your family and to the state of California .

I hope one day we can meet so I can REALLY tell you what I think of your liberal view points.

I hope I hear back from you, I probably won’t because you have no guts. You are a 100% coward!

I hope to hear from you.

Bill *****
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To David Sanchez, CTA President

Dear Mr. Sanchez:

I am very disappointed to know that the CTA has donated $1M to the “No on 8″ campaign. I read that your justification is that teachers believe “in teaching the importance of equal rights for all.” How ironic that you chose to support the rights of gay activists, at the expense of the children you are committed to serve. Clearly, gay rights are not the issue, as California law already grants homosexual unions the same rights as married couples. What is at issue is mainstreaming homosexuality into society by equating homosexual union with heterosexual marriage. And by so doing, you indoctrinate our children beginning in public schools with your politically correct definitions of the family unit and field trips such as in the recent news in San Francisco. What is so glaringly obvious is the fact that gay couples are not even capable of conceiving children naturally, and that in order to exercise their right to “parent,” they would intentionally deprive a child of either a mother or a father. The gay community could not have less of a stake in children’s rights. As teachers, you should also know that current science shows homosexuality to be a spectrum phenomenon whereby a person’s sexual identity is affected by environment as well as genetics. Legalizing gay marriage profoundly affects our children’s environment. The CTA’s support of the gay community’s right to change our society’s definition of marriage (which is the only right at issue in Proposition 8), is directly at our children’s expense. As teachers, you are expected to safeguard and defend children’s rights. Shame on you.

-Judy *****

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The following letters are some of the ones sent in on a blog:

http://beetlebabee.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/cta-tuesday-response/

Dear Mr. Sanchez,

To me, this has nothing to do with equal rights. All I am fighting for is to protect a word. MARRIAGE. I have a gay niece that is in a committed relationship and I support her in that. I have also told her that I do not believe that she should be able to say that she is married. Committed, taken, whatever, just not married. She even understands this and does not think that I am not fair in my views. My children do not need to know the specifics of what goes on in anybody’s (private/intimate) relationships. We as parents should discuss this with our own kids. I do realize that there are parents out there that are “dropping the ball”.

I never thought that I would be looking into the option of Home Schooling my 3 kids, but now, I may have to consider it. Or, move out of this state. Of all of the things for the CTA to support. Did they really think that this would not cause alarm with others? I cannot believe that anyone in their position could be that naive.

As for equality, what is not equal. We are all human beings with the same needs. To be loved and cared for. We all have that. Find a new word that works for this situation, and I will use it and support it. Not marriage, married or any sense of this word. It is taken by MAN & WOMAN / HUSBAND & WIFE.

As teachers and educators, you should be supporting children and their parents. I know quite a few teachers that are appalled at what the union did with their hard earned money. They will be fighting for refunds.

Discouraged,
Deanne *****

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October 21, 2008

Arcohe School
Herald, California

My children did not attend school today. As you probably know, there was a statewide sickout today for parents to keep their children home from school in protest of the recent political donation of OVER $1 MILLION dollars to the NO on Proposition 8 Campaign by the California Teacher’s Association. The teacher’s association should be involved with issues that support our children’s education, not in promoting an issue that is so anti-family and having nothing to do with education whatsoever. I am angry that the California Teacher’s Association is so closely tied with activist gay issues. Our schools are not social experimentation labs for the gay rights lobby. The amount of money the CTA donated to the NO on 8 campaign is staggering. It shows the lengths to which they will go in supporting the gay agenda in our schools.

We opted to not send our boys to school today in protest and want you to know that if the public schools start teaching about the homosexual lifestyle and same-sex marriage and presenting it as equal to and as normal as traditional marriage, we will have no choice but to cancel our children’s attendance in the public school system. This is OUR state, and OUR public school. Please do what’s right for OUR children, and encourage the CTA to do the same.

Sincerely,
(signed)

 

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Mr. Sanchez,

I sent my daughter to school today because I did not want to hurt the local teachers. They work hard and are devoted to teaching our children. I cannot imagine that they would be happy with their hard earned money being spent on an agenda that clearly only benefits a minority of the members of the CTA. I am confident that your political statement was not the will of the majority of the CTA members and that is the only reason that I sent my daughter to school. I never thought that there was an agenda to indoctrinate my child in the school system until just now. Your actions convinced me gay marriage will in fact be taught in our school system if we do not pass proposition 8.

Sincerely,

Erik *****

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To the teachers of my (daughter),
I am contacting you today regarding CTA’s political contributions to the No on Prop 8 campaign. I was asked to participate in a state wide sick out yesterday, October 21, to protest CTA’s actions, and seriously considered participating. However, I placed the immediate financial needs of our school district above my personal feelings, and sent my daughters to school.
Please consider the message that those contributions are making to parents of public school children in this state. It was my understanding that the Union’s mission is to represent the needs of teachers, and that they can only make donations to issues that affect teacher’s “on the job” needs. Therefore, issues regarding a teacher’s private life should not be addressed by the union. Regardless of how you feel about same-sex marriage, I hope that you will demand a refund of the portion of your dues that were used inappropriately.
Thank you, (signed)

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David A. Sanchez,

I am appalled that you as the President of CTA thought it prudent to give over $1,000,000 to the “No on Prop 8” Campaign. Parents all over California have been afraid that the defeat of Proposition 8 would adversely affect our children’s education, that there would be a constant slant in all that our Teachers offer, that would try to legitimize homosexuality.

How incredibly arrogant of you and the CTA to try and push through the legalization of same sex marriage, when the people of California voted to have the definition of marriage to be between a man and a woman, a few short years ago. Obviously you all think you know what is best for our children, and we should no longer have the right to guide our children to have the ideals we hold dear. At the very least the CTA should have remained neutral on this issue, so that parents could feel as though there were a possibility that the whole same sex union idea could be approached with some objectivity.

Your actions in regard to Proposition 8 have made it clear that parents have much to fear if Prop 8 is defeated. I am convinced that your actions here are just a hint and a whisper of what is to come in our school system, and it really scares me.

I am the mother of 7 children and have had my children in California public schools every year for the past 27 years. I have 4 years left to go with my youngest. If Prop 8 is defeated, I intend to bring my children home, and home school them myself, and I know at least 20 other families who feel the same. How many families to you think will “jump ship” so to speak if Prop 8 is defeated? I would venture to say that there would be many unemployed teachers and administrators throughout the state of California….so you have apparently not only caused harm to families and children, but also the very teachers who rely upon the support of the CTA.

I want to make it perfectly clear that neither I nor anyone in my family would ever treat a same sex couple with any degree of disrespect, but Prop 8 isn’t about equal rights, because they already have them. I believe they simply want the world to validate their lifestyle so they no longer need to feel uncomfortable about living their lives contrary to the laws of nature.

Mr. Sanchez, I fear you have just made the biggest mistake of your life. You ought to think twice (or three times) before you take on the concerned parents of California. Our voices will not be silenced.

Sincerely,
Lynda *****

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Dear Mr. Sanchez,

The California Teachers Association, the organization you lead, exists to protect and promote the well-being of its members, to improve the conditions of teaching and learning, and to advance the cause of quality public education. I can’t help but ask, what does Proposition 8 have to do with advancing the cause of quality public education in our state?

Quite frankly I am furious that my money, my union dues, are being used in such a manner. CTA’s actions certainly don’t promote my well-being or improve the already difficult conditions in which I teach. By involving CTA in this proposition you have violated your own mission statement. You considered one side of this argument, made it your own, and used my money to support it.

To say that your decision to oppose Proposition 8 is based on CTA’s desire to promote human and civil rights is not only flawed, it’s a one-sided, close-minded perspective. What about my civil rights to believe that marriage is only between a man and a woman? Where am I being represented as a paying union member of the California Teacher’s Association on this issue?

Just today I heard an advertisement on the radio stating that California ‘s teachers support no on 8. I am infuriated that you have labeled me, a California teacher, as endorsing something I wholeheartedly oppose simply because I am a teacher.

In the past I have stood by CTA and my local San Juan Teachers Association as a representative. When called upon, I have willingly spoken on their behalf to local television, radio and newspaper outlets on issues relating to education. But now, Mr. Sanchez, I am angry and disappointed in your leadership. I see clearly now that you represent me in name only, because you certainly don’t represent my well-being, my civil rights and my opinions. If you are unable to capably stand as a leader for all paying members of CTA, perhaps it would be wise to instead stay out of an argument such as Proposition 8 and use your member’s money in a way that helps them better educate their students.

You had no reason to get involved in this matter, unless you are trying to use the political power and financial backing of CTA as the engine to drive your own personal or political agenda. It’s quite obvious that you are not interested in representing me and thousands of others who share the same opinion.

I look forward to your response to this concern, particularly a detailed explanation of how you have ethically represented me and held true to CTA’s mission statement in regard to Proposition 8.

Sincerely,

Dianna *****

Third Grade Teacher

Carmichael, CA

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Published in: on October 24, 2008 at 12:47 pm  Comments (3)  
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Speechless

Wow. I’m horrified at this newest news article that has come out about homosexuality being taught in elementary schools. Why in the world we need to be teaching 5 year olds about gender issues is beyond me. Children are so easily confused by so many things at that age; throwing homosexuality at them is incomprehensible to me. Most of these kids aren’t going to face their own sexuality for several more years. Why not present information to them at that time? Why teach our kindergarteners about it? I would be horrified if my child came home from kindergarten one day and said they had learned about sex in school that day. Why are they teaching about sexuality of ANY type? And why are they ONLY teaching about homosexuality? Why not teach heterosexuality also, if you’re going to get into the issue?

So parents of children at this public – yes, public – school in Sacramento find out that their 5 year old children are being taught to be pro-gay. They are having a “Coming out day” tomorrow. Parents were not told, the event wasn’t listed on online calendars, and the event is being held almost two weeks after the traditional “Coming out day” that is observed in high schools. Sure sounds like SOMEONE is trying to sneak something into the curriculum to me.

And before anyone jumps on my case, I will state my opinion that there is a big difference between teaching children to be tolerant of gays and teaching them to be pro-gay. In my view, being tolerant in this case simply means accepting that someone chooses a different lifestyle than the majority. Being pro-gay is actively promoting a gay lifestyle, and teaching our children that it is just as good as a heterosexual lifestyle. Studies have shown that gay relationships are less stable; homosexual practices account for more new instances of STDs; homosexual people engage in sex with more partners, thus furthering the spread of diseases and leading to unstable personal relationships; and homosexual relationships even have a stronger tendency toward violent behavior than heterosexual ones. Does that sound just as good to you? It doesn’t to me.

Vote YES on Proposition 8! Please, remember, the failure of Proposition 8 will have dire consequences for our children.

motherhood vs fatherhood

I believe that a child needs both a mother and a father to be raised successfully. Obviously, this is not always possible, but in the case of gay marriage, we will be taking that opportunity away from children right from the start. Studies have shown that children need both parents. Here’s a few things I’ve noticed that my three year old daughter has learned from one of us, or how she interacts differently with us:

My daughter loves music. (Mom)

She loves to pretend. (Mom)

She loves to read. (Mom)

She loves to help me cook. (Mom)

She knows all about instruments and musical terms. (Mom)

Mom knows the words to just about every kids song she ever wants.

Dad makes up the words when he doesn’t know them. So does she.

She is much more willing to sit and read a whole book with Mom than with Dad.

When she wakes up grumpy, Dad can silly her out of it.

She cuddles a little bit more with Mom than with Dad.

Mom loves hugs, Dad loves kisses.

She loves to tickle. (Dad)

She loves being silly. (Dad)

She loves to dance. (Dad)

She loves animals, acting like them, and making their sounds. (Dad)

She loves “baseball Dodgers.” (Dad)

She knows the difference between baseball, football, and basketball. (Dad)

She loves playing ball – soccer and catch. (Dad)

She thinks Dad’s juggling is pretty cool. (Dad)

She loves flying her plane while Dad flies his helicopter. (Dad)

She can say words like helicopter, fire truck, and tow truck. (Dad)

She loves to run around in circles. (Dad)

She loves to play hide and go seek. (Dad)

I love this picture that says so plainly what I have been thinking about. It’s from http://www.iprotectmarriage.com

Our daughter has learned so many things from each of us that she probably wouldn’t have learned from the other. She plays more actively with Dad than with Mom – partly because Mom is so worn out from taking care of both our girls all the time. Dad can always find some energy for a round of tickles or hide and go seek. Mom can always be lured into reading her a story. Sometimes when she wakes up scared in the middle of the night, she wants Mom. Sometimes she wants Dad. It depends on why she’s scared. Her life is so much more full because she has a mom and a dad. I don’t think I could handle her without my husband to help run out her energy at the end of the day. And I don’t think she would calm down for bed some nights without Mom to help settle her down.

Just as I believe that every child has a right to be born, so I also believe that every child has the right to come into a family with both a mother and a father. How can we deprive these children of something as vital as a parent, without considering their needs? Our babies cannot speak for themselves and tell us what we need. When we think about marriage, we have an obligation not only to think about the adults involved, but about the children they will raise who have no voice.

Published in: on October 21, 2008 at 9:11 am  Comments (2)  
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